How to Win Friends and Influence People

In 1936, Dale Carnegie wrote a book about how to win friends and influence people.  Most, if not all, of these are still true today.  Lets take a look...

Fundamental Techniques in Handling People

1. Don't criticize, condemn or complain.- This can be very difficult with some people, but is essential.
2. Give honest and sincere appreciation.- If you are not thankful for something, then don't patronize.
3. Arouse in the other person an eager want.- This is also great marketing advice.

Six ways to make people like you

1. Become genuinely interested in other people. - You know yourself, or you should.  Meet people with similar interests.
2. Smile - ALWAYS!
3. Remember that a person's name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.- Be sure and pronounce it correctly.  I hate it when I get a call or meet someone and the "murder" my name!
4. Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.- It's not ALL about you, it's about them!
5. Talk in terms of the other person's interests.- This will farther than any other thing you do.
6. Make the other person feel important - and do it sincerely.- People are important, be honest and sincere.

Win people to your way of thinking

1. The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it.- AMEN!
2. Show respect for the other person's opinions. Never say, "You're wrong."- This can be very difficult to do at times.  I like using "mistaken"
3. If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically.- This has got to be one of my biggest pet peeves with others.  When I make a mistake, I'll admit it and move on, when others don't, I get a upset.  Take responsibility for yourself and your actions.
4. Begin in a friendly way.- It is very difficult to start a friendship with a slap in the face.
5. Get the other person saying "yes, yes" immediately.- sooner the better!
6. Let the other person do a great deal of the talking.- Listen!!!
7. Let the other person feel that the idea is his or hers.- This can make or break you.  It's easier to get someone to do something if they believe it's their idea and in their best interest.
8. Try honestly to see things from the other person's point of view.- Many times this can give you an advantage.  It can give you a better feel as to how to motivate them.
9. Be sympathetic with the other person's ideas and desires.- self explanatory.
10. Appeal to the nobler motives.- Do things for the RIGHT reason.
11. Dramatize your ideas.
12. Throw down a challenge.

Be a Leader: How to Change People Without Giving Offense or Arousing Resentment

A leader's job often includes changing your people's attitudes and behavior. Some suggestions to accomplish this:

1. Begin with praise and honest appreciation.- This works on me.  If I do a good job, tell me, if others do a good job, I tell them.
2. Call attention to people's mistakes indirectly.- I would rephrase this as mistakes need to be pointed out, but not dwelled on.
3. Talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the other person.- Pobody is Nerfect!
4. Ask questions instead of giving direct orders.- Motivation is the key.  "Can you help me with this?" will get you farther than "Get over here and Help me!"
5. Let the other person save face.- need I comment?
6. Praise the slightest improvement and praise every improvement. Be "hearty in your approbation and lavish in your praise."- It takes little steps to get up the ladder.  Be supportive.
7. Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to.- Don't expect people to follow what you preach if you don't follow it yourself.
8. Use encouragement. Make the fault seem easy to correct.- Other than Murder, everything can be fixed.
9. Make the other person happy about doing the thing you suggest. - This can lead to them doing a better job and fewer mistakes.

"Believe that you will succeed, and you will"  Dale Carnegie, 1888-1955

Special thanks to The Dale Carnegie Page